Breath in....breath out....

I was looking at this blog thinking. I don't want to abandon it completely but I started out as an accountability blog for my C25K workout. I wanted to start working out because I was just newly divorced and I need a way to sort out my feelings, get in shape and move on. Well 2 out of 3 isn't bad right?? I have moved on (sort of), I am not in any better shape well I do workout regularly but I haven't really lost any weight like I had hoped, as for my feelings well I think that I have done really well with those. I decided I need to make a shift in this blog and use it as an outlet of my life. I don't mean in a drama queen sort of way but life happens everyday and sometimes not in the direction you were hoping for. Stay tuned for the journey of my life as a single parent. It is quite the roller coaster ride so buckle up.

Committment???

Last week was not a good week. There was no school on Monday so the kids were home with me and not at daycare which threw off my schedule. Karsyn will not stay in the daycare at the gym still so I can't take them with me. Tuesday was Mardi Gras and I had a hard time saying no to the "girls" for drinks after work. Neil took the kids Tuesday and Wednesday only so I was down to only one MAYBE two days at the gym. After all is said and done I didn't go to the gym one time!!! I ponder over the mixed feelings of self loathing and self betrayal of my staying committed. Why?? Why is it so hard to keep with my progress. I say that lightly bc I don't really see any progress. I have been working out three days a week for four weeks and not shed one pound. I have watched my eating within reason. I read on a fitness site about working out until you felt like throwing up, I was like well I never get to that point?? Why am I having a hard time pushing myself to go to the next level?

Fresh start

I got up early this morning and went straight to the gym. I was thinking I should start back at week 2 since it had been so long since I made it to the gym. I got up stairs, got on the treadmill and started to walk. I upped the speed and I just started running. I ran for 3 minutes, winded but I did it:) So I am going to continue on my journey with week 3. Tomorrow is weights and no treadmill. I have started to add this to my routine. It was a good day:)

W3D1 revisited

So I don't think that I did all that well with last week's work out so I am going to repeat last weeks training. Hopefully the weather and all the other obstacles don't get in the way. It helps when people encourage me to get to the gym so here's hoping someone meets me at the gym:)

W3D1,2

Monday I did W3D1, I had been dreading it all day. This week I have to run 3 minutes straight. I was not at all excited about this feat. I went to the gym with only 30 minutes to work out, I got on the treadmill and began I was doing just fine until we got to the second run. I kept saying to myself that I could do it but I only lasted 2 min 15 sec. I was devastated. I hated that I felt like a failure. I am not sure if I gave myself the mental crutch by worrying about the run all day or what but I am bound and determined to make it to the 3 minute mark.

Tuesday my coworker asked me to hit the gym with her so I decided to go at night. She and I met up with another friend and hit the treadmills. I was so determined plus when someone is next to you that you know, its motivating to keep going. I was getting that nervous feeling in the pit of my stomach as I reached the point of the 3 minute run. I started out slow, and I did it!!! I was so happy! It was a great moment for me. I even added some weight to the mix last night. Now on to day 3 but with the weather, I don't how I am going to get it in. I hope it isn't as bad they are making out to be (the weather that is).

W2D2

Yesterday was the second day into week two. I hadn't worked out in three days so I thought I was in for a brutal workout. I went right after work also, on a Friday which is the worst day for me. I knew I had to go if I wanted to get all three workouts in this week. I got the treadmill and started at a 3.0 for a brisk walk, it seemed kind of slow so I sped up. I started running and it was like something just clicked. It felt normal and natural. I was so excited. This was a great session. I have to say I don't like that the timing is a little off this week. It doesn't equal out to 20 minutes for 1.5/2 intervals with a 5 warm up. For a OCD like me that is tough. Well headed to the gym today. Its raining and I have a bad attitude so no better way to improve it than exercise.

W2D1

Today is W2D1---UGH!!! I thought this was supposed to get easier as you go. After not being able to get out this weekend and do any kind of walking, jogging, anything, It was like starting over only harder. I think I am going to have to do other things on the down days even at home. Run around in the back yard, go for a walk with the kids, something. I almost didn't make it through the last run of the series tonight. I was actually holding on to the sides of the treadmill. It was embarrassing...luckily I was in the privacy of a friends bedroom with the door closes. Before I started she said you might want to close the bathroom door bc I hate to watch myself run, I was like nah it'll be fine. Oh brother, about 16 minutes into it I thought why the heck didn't I shut that door??? The sight of me red faced and breathing hard, not a pretty picture. Not giving up though, back at it tomorrow.