Committment???

Last week was not a good week. There was no school on Monday so the kids were home with me and not at daycare which threw off my schedule. Karsyn will not stay in the daycare at the gym still so I can't take them with me. Tuesday was Mardi Gras and I had a hard time saying no to the "girls" for drinks after work. Neil took the kids Tuesday and Wednesday only so I was down to only one MAYBE two days at the gym. After all is said and done I didn't go to the gym one time!!! I ponder over the mixed feelings of self loathing and self betrayal of my staying committed. Why?? Why is it so hard to keep with my progress. I say that lightly bc I don't really see any progress. I have been working out three days a week for four weeks and not shed one pound. I have watched my eating within reason. I read on a fitness site about working out until you felt like throwing up, I was like well I never get to that point?? Why am I having a hard time pushing myself to go to the next level?